This disclaimer is just a disclaimer and only a disclaimer. It is not intended to disclaim, dismiss, or defray. That said, please take note of the following points.
SURF LEGENDARY KINGDOMS WITH EXTREME CARE: The website contains super charged particles moving at velocities in excess of three hundred million miles per hour. It's mass contains the energy equivalent of 100 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight. Your Mind. Your Responsibility.
Recently verified by the Society for Irregular Internet Phenomena, it is now known that Legendary Kingdoms attracts every other piece of matter in the universe; including the websites of other web-wizards with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
ADDITIONAL WARNINGS: There is a small but nonzero possibility that through a process known as "Voidrunning," this website may disappear from Its present location and then reappear randomly throughout the realms of both the virtual and non-virtual universe. This may also include any reflective surfaces. Ace Warloch Will Not Be Responsible for any inconvenience or damage that may result.
It is also recommended that you take the following into consideration: The Legion of Homeless Philosophers speculate that any screening of this website, in any manner whatsoever, will dramatically decrease the amount of faith in the Universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the viewer is warned that this process will likely lead to the Universe losing whatever motivation it has left and calling it quits.
Moreover, Legendary Kingdoms appears to warp whatever space and time is in its vicinity. And witnesses swear the site stops and backs up frequently. So be advised to look both ways before crossing reality.
REGARDING CONTENT: Legendary Kingdoms contains restricted and privileged information that is intended only for authorized viewing. Authorized individuals include all who enjoy hard rock and metal music. However, Legendary Kingdoms and Ace Warloch will not be held responsible for reactive attachment disorder!
The right to pick and choose tour dates, reviews and interviews to publish is reserved with immortal vengeance. There is no complaint department.
Furthermore, you must not disseminate, modify, copy/plagiarize or take action against Legendary Kingdoms unless permitted by Ace Herostratus Warloch. None of the articles, reviews or photographs provided on this website may be used, reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including ESP and convenient accidents (At least without written permission from you know who). Quotes of reviews are cool and if bands want to steal pictures of themselves that is considered cool as well.
If the contents of Legendary Kingdoms make no sense to you whatsoever, then you probably were not intended to view or you are the personification of stupidity; either way, you should immediately kill yourself and then destroy your computer for good measure! Once you have taken this action please contact Legendary Kingdoms and verify that you are indeed dead so that we can announce your lame demise.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: All misrepresentations of bands, musicians, places, or musical instruments living or dead are purely coincidental.
All actions realized within Legendary Kingdoms were done (or attempted) by a master of the uncertain arts on a recycled virtual course. Do not attempt to recreate.
ABOUT THE OWNER: Ace Herostratus Warloch asserts the right to be identified as Ace Herostratus Warloch or Ace Warloch. Do not use ‘Ace’ without ‘Warloch’ unless you have a preference for being ignored. Or you can call him by his real name whatever that is.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: The entire physical universe, excluding Legendary Kingdoms, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, Legendary Kingdoms and Ace Warloch will still be here waiting to give the new universe a well placed kick in the arse.
If you die while visiting Legendary Kingdoms, you may be poked, dissected or even cloned for undisclosed purposes. The bottom line is that Legendary Kingdoms and Ace Warloch are not responsible for your wellbeing!
